Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send “his” e-mail to $1,000? How stupid are you? Ooooooh, lookie here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll meet the guy (or girl) of my dreams tomorrow! What a bunch of junk. So basically, this message is directed to all the people out there who have
nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil letter leprechauns will come into my house and write & I'm a moron! on my forehead in permanent marker in my sleep for not continuing the chain
which was started by a knight of the round table and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2004, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
streak of blatant stupidity.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. It’s getting old. Show a l ittle intelligence and think about what you're
actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS.
Chain letter type 1
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Make a wish!!!
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No, really, go on and make one!!!
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Oh please, they’ll never go out with you!!!
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Wish something else!!!!
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No, I’m sorry, we’re out of ponies at the time being!!
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Have you forgotten why you’re scrolling yet?
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STOP!!!!
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Wasn't that fun:
Hope you made a great wish! Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be kidnapped by ninja elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn’t like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot to take your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and will throw many very explosive things at your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!!
Chain letter type 2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy’s life could be saved, be cause for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Oh, and remember we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of junk. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
6 people, you will die instantly!!! Thanks again!!
Chain letter type 3:
Hi there!!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad email addicts with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
* Bizarre Horror Story #1
Jenny Rose was walking home from school on Saturday. She has recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of sewage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died too. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Dip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was crushed by and anvil that was dropped by a plane that just happened to be flying directly above him. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU
TOO!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Miss Rose and Mr. Dip. Just send this letter
to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
Chain letter type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
Blah, blah, blah
Friends,
Blah, blah, blah
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, no one will like you for as long as you live. I mean it, as long as you live. The point being???
*If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you friendless or luckless for the rest of your life, DELETE IT.
*If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Jenny, right?!?