I wonder where they went to college. Or if they even have a degree...yup, yup, scary, scary. But oh so hilarious. If you liked these, check out Inside the Mind of 6th Graders.
His rapid heart stopped, he's fine now.
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. **** to dispose of him.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.
The patient refused autopsy.
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. *****, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.